When you strap on a backpack that's loaded with never-before-tried [by you] freeze-dried food, snacks you hope you're not allergic to (though you've read and re-read the labels at least four times each), a sleeping bag you assume is warm enough, layers of clothes you hope are suficient, no camp mat because you're opting to hammock hang instead, and a pair of running shoes just in case the brand new hiking boots you bought three days before you trek off into a place called Desolation Wilderness decide to wreck your feet with blisters, there are probably going to be some doubts running through your head. At least there were for me, as I went through this very process just a week ago.
I've done plenty of backpacking in the way of travel, and am considered a backpacker. I've done plenty of hikes over the years, and have never felt incapable of any of the physical challenges they've presented so far. And I've camped a fair amount of times in my life to know I love it, and have some proper gear to do so. But never had I ever packed up my pack with all I would have to eat and wear for a period of days, and then hiked off into the wild with it.
For a few years now, one of my water polo teammates/college roommates and closest friends has gone with her brother, and whomever else decides to join in that year go hiking into the Desolation Wilderness of Lake Tahoe. So when she brought it up during out catch-up call a couple weeks back, I didn't hesitate to make going a priority. I'm still not sure if her telling me was her inviting me, or if I just decided to invite myself because it sounded awesome, but I went, we went, we wandered. And it was E X C E L L E N T! And luckily, there were only a couple moments on the hike up to Middle Velma Lake (where we would be making camp) when I wanted to throw my backpack down on the ground and drag it behind me like a dead dog. It was only a six mile hike up, but the elevation and incline were just enough to get me near-thinking, "Maybe I just can't." Of course, the thought didn't last long enough to take root, thankfully, and we pressed on and up!
The Velmas were gorgeous, and provided a perfect setting for us to camp, roam, and even take some quick dips in the cold lake water. We even got to see a bear! (And then my brilliant brothers and sister tried to bait it/seek it out so they could get some good pictures of it. But don't worry, it didn't come stalking Toke's salmon dinner down, nor did it surprise us on any of our bear walks.)
We camped there for a couple nights, then hiked down most of the way so we could make camp near a lookout of Emerald Bay so they could take some sunrise shots the next morning. We had to slide down a mountain to get to a good angle, but it was a great way to warm up from the freezing cold night, and start our morning with some movement.
Overall, the trip was perfection. Truly. Sleeping four-in-a-row under a tarp below the unbelievable starry night sky, catching up on stories and life from the past few years, romping around the forest and tracking down sunsets, gathering around to scarf down freeze-dried meals that didn't sit so well later, and sharing in loads of laughter, hugs, and wilderness liberation. Few things can even compare.
There is something so magical, so wonderful, and so, so amazing about heading off into the wild with your friends/family. To get away from the hectic world we tend to live in, disconnect from our phones and all data sources, and just breath in some fresh air while embracing the fact you have nothing else to do but enjoy the nature that surrounds you, it's a really beautiful thing. Especially when you're connecting with someone you feel so close to but haven't actually seen for three or more years! Wow, yeah, sitting here thinking about it, there's really no place like nature!
We wrapped up our time together with the lake, boating out to Rooster Rock, a 35-40 foot jump that you have to sketchily climb up to on the backside of the boulders. And a place that for me, a person whose number one most-plaguing fear of all time is falling, is utterly terrifying. At first, I didn't even think I'd make it up to the top. There's a rope you use to climb up, and a kinda wobbly ladder, and I was sure my arm strength and/or climbing skills would not be enough to get me up there. But after all three of my dears had made it to the top, I decided to say, "Screw it," and just make it happen. Which I did! Just getting up there was an accomplishment, and even though it left my body trembling terribly, the worst part hadn't even begun.
I'm still not sure how long I stayed on top of that massive mound of Earth, looking down at the cluster of boats that had, by then, gathered around to watch these crazy kids jump off Rooster Rock, but it was longer than necessary. Or maybe not long enough. In the end, I did jump. Well, better said FLUNG myself off. As Garrett said, "You didn't jump, you just flung yourself off the side." Hahahaa. I was so, so, so, so, so scared, I just lept with all I had in me. And I completely lost control as I was flying through the air. I was screaming almost the whole way down, then in the last split-second before I was going to hit, realized I was going to land entirely on my back if I didn't do anything about it, and tried to straighten out before landing, but still splatted from my mid-back down to my butt. It kind of knocked the wind out of me, but I came out of the water laughing [in pain], and so relieved to have gotten off the rock. Had an Osprey rescue not been pending and my backside semi-throbbing, I would have likely climbed up and gone again, because I just can't let that landing be how I go out and down. Next time. . .
One of the main goals in my life and art is to encourage other people to overcome their fears, test them, try them, and push the limits with life. I cannot properly do that if I don't do it myself. And though my Rooster Rock showing wasn't the most courageous and brilliant ever, it's a start. I pushed myself up and over my fear of falling backwards onto the rocks while trying to climb to the top, pushed myself past my self-doubt of my own strength and ability to get up there, and said an incredibly heart-felt prayer of trust to God before I made my leap. I am trying. I hope you are, too! :)
We can do anything we put our minds to, so long as we trust ourselves and remember we're protected all around. And we are not meant to live in fear, so we might as well do what we can to overcome them. These things are built up in our minds to try and stop us from reaching our full potentials and becoming the best us we're designed to be. We cannot let them succeed!
I am feeling so grateful just to be home, reconnecting with old friends, participating in my family's life, helping my grandmother, and just to be able to be here and sit at the table with my dad, mom and sister and laugh! It hasn't always been the easiest place to step into, but I am really happy at least I can be.
I hope that whatever moment you find yourself in, you're embracing it fully, accepting everything about it, and doing your best to shine your brightest for yourself and those around you. Our lives are such wonderful gifts, amazing chances, and full of blessings and lessons. We can't allow ourselves to waste away or waste them!
Get outside, or stay inside, just move your body, work those smile muscles, and take some deeeeeep breaths. Every little thing is gonna be alright :)
Love you so much famILY!
Blessings, Love, Light & Wonder to all!
-Allie-Sun <3