As I finalize the organization of my room, I am coming up to the tasks I have left, which of course are the ones I've dreaded the most. One such task is sorting through a stack of unlabeled CDs, which I am working on right now.
I came across a data disk that was actually labeled, and dons the name "Photos and Docs." Quite an ambiguous name considering how many years I've been alive (the content could really come from anywhere), and I was equal parts excited and loathful towards what I might find. The following Mini-Write for extra credit (which I don't consider so mini since it took up four pages on Word, thanks a lot professor...) is from, I assume, my freshman year of college. At least I hope so, since I wrote the word "shits" into it. (Forgive my French.) And it is clear that the task was to write a biography as if we'd been born the opposite sex, with a focus on how gender roles influence how we grow up. Pretty cool topic, and it goes without saying, it's pretty entertaining. And, as much as it killed/kills me to do so, I've left it entirely unedited. (Seriously, it's so hard not to add/eliminate even a comma here and there, but I want it to be preserved in its 18-year old Allison-state.) So without further a'due, here is is...
The story of my life is pretty wild. There isn’t really a better way to start this than with some history, so here we go… I was born Jacob Alexander Fedor on February 26, 1989, at 7:25am. My parents, Patrick and Heidi, were thrilled that their first born was a boy. My dad, like most, automatically had flash backs to his younger years. Also, like most, visions of me being a sports star rushed through his head. I grew up like your average boy. Good family, lots of love, and lots of blue.
The “It’s a Boy!” theme was in full effect when I was born. I was a cute baby, people were always coming up to my mom and I, “Oh, he’s so adorable,” “You’re going to grow up to be such a handsome man,” the usual. Now that I think back, I would say that gender sex roles were definitely, but not intentionally, stressed. My dad’s older brother is gay, and I’m sure that when I came out the thought crossed his mind, “I wonder if he’ll be straight or not.” Either way, my sexuality wouldn’t have made a difference in how much love I got (I’m straight…for the record, but more on that later).
My childhood was great. I was young, didn’t know anything about the world, and was having the time of my life. I got pushed around the house in cardboard boxes, played with trucks and toy cars, and the ultimate favorite, Legos. When I was four, I discovered my body. Little boys like to play, and play I did. Also when I was four, my little sister came along, that changed things in some ways. All of a sudden there were Barbies and Polly Pockets blending in with my trucks and army men. We played together, or more against each other. She would be playing with her dolls, which always scared the life out of me with their wide-eyes and freaky faces, and I would set up an attack. She did like Legos though, so we did that a lot.
Sports were always a big part of my life. My dad had played a variety of sports throughout his life, and both my mom and dad were huge San Francisco 49ers fans. Football was always on the television, and my parents got me a jersey to wear. Tee-ball became “my thing” when I was six, and when I was eight I was introduced to the world of neighborhood swim teams. My sister and I both hated swimming at first, but as time passed, and I got better, it got pretty fun. I’ve always had the gift of being an athlete, and now that I’m getting older I don’t know what I would have done if I hadn’t been put into sports.
Baseball caps, tennis shoes, lots of sports memorabilia, and Thomas the Train were big hits while I was growing up. As soon as I hit junior high, girls became the object of my desire. The need to be the cool “alpha male” was apparent, but lucky for me, I always had the sports thing going for me. Suddenly my world of playing kick ball and running around with my friends shifted into a world of hair gel, cologne, and trying to look good for the ladies. While things got awkward as puberty started in, the voice changing and feeling unsure about who I was and what was happening in my life, sports stayed constant.
I’ve always done well in sports, and going into high school I decided that I wasn’t much of a football guy, so water polo was the path I followed. Water polo proved to be the right choice, and playing opened up a new world for me. The people I met, not to mention the sight of relatively hot girls in bathing suits daily, was awesome. Now that I look back on the differences between the way I was raised and the way my sister was raised, I can see that there were a lot of things that went one way for me and another for her. Staying at a friend’s house for me consisted of laser tag, boxing gloves, running around and being, ultimately, little shits. And high school, there was definitely more leniency with me than she has. My parents weren’t the kind that would let me do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted to do it, but they let me stay out a little later and do a little more. Going out with girls, they gave me more space and weren’t as worried. They never condoned drinking, but I was allowed to go to parties. My style always varied between the surfer look, with a little bit of prep thrown in. I went through a punk phase when I was in eighth grade. Wore black all the time, started to let my hair get really long and dirty looking, but then I came to my senses.
While I am straight, I would have to say I have some heterosexual tendencies. I like to look nice, I wear nice clothes, expensive and I’ll check a label here and there, clean-cut. I have had my fair share of sex, and it’s on my mind most hours of the day. My dad and I got along pretty well, played catch together and he taught me the ropes on how to treat a girl (with some extensive help from my mom, who better to learn from than a woman herself) and gave me “the talk.” It’s easy to recognize that gender sex roles have an impact on people’s lives. I delivered pizzas for a while, and life guarded for some time too. Society makes it ok for a guy to get away with more and puts a lot of pressure on having a good body tone and the right style.
Now that I’m in college, I think that a lot of the pressure has faded off. Groups of people are less distinguished and the popular kids are just like everyone else now. I still play polo, so I’ve got that group of friends. And I’m outgoing so I know a lot of people around the town. Pressure has shifted from getting with the hot girls to who can hold their beer the best. Another thing that has always been a focus in my life is cars. Having a nice car, knowing about them, and loving them…seems like that’s the thing that brings men from everywhere together.
I guess that's what I figured my life would be like if I was born a boy. What about you? How do you think your growing up experience would have been if you were born the opposite sex? And, let's use this to kick-start a talk about gender roles -- A LOVING, KIND, ACCEPTING ONE!
Please feel free to loop me in on any posts you put up that include things you wrote when you were younger! I'd love to read it over :)
Blessings, Love, Light & Wonder from Above to all!
-Allie-Sun <3
And while we're at it...