Holy Shiznips. It's Like I'm Tired All the Time!

I'm going to keep it short and sweet right now, so if you're used to having to tune in for half an hour to read something, today's your lucky day! ;)

I do not understand what it going on with me that is causing me to be so flipping tired ALL THE TIME. Truly. But whatever it is needs to back the heck off me and my life, and let me get some dang rest! I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS!!!!! O_o O_o O_o

Last night, I came into my room to go to bed thinking, "Omg, I'm so tired, I'm not even going to leave the light on to read right now. I'm just going to get in bed. I think I'll fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. Amazing!" And yet, at 11-something, 1-something, 3-something, 5-something, 7-something, I noticed the time. Instead of passing right out, I tossed and turned, feeling restless as could be, and so confused as to where my previous state of utter exhaustion had gone. How does this even happen!?!?!?!

It seems like every morning I wake up in the middle of this massive cloud of haze, confusion, and omgseriouslywtfisgoingon. This has never been the case before. My internal clock would tick off around seven, and I'd feel right as rain. Of course, I'd usually lay there like a beached whale for a while, but when I got up, I'd pop up and out of bed feeling like someone injected me with a needle full of delicious, energizing caffiene. But not now.

Now, I wake up, head a mess, and feeling like I've had the hardest drinking night of my life the night before. Which is ludicrous, because I'm not even drinking! GDI! I would understand if I had hit it hard the night before, but I'm home with my family every night, and spending my days with a 93-year old lady!!! WHAT THE HECK, GOD!?

So, since this has been a reoccuring thing for me in the last idkhowmanyweeks(month?), I've thought about it a lot to try and figure it the eff out. Because seriously, I cannot live like this. Conclusions I've come to?

1. Driving everywhere and all the time instead of walking. In Europe, you don't really drive. In California, you don't really walk. It's just on the other side of the parking lot? Oh, well, let's drive over there. WHYWHYWHY!?!?! (And yes, I'm aware I'm reiterating something from my last post. Deal with it. Like I said, my head's a mess.)

2. Time change? Can I even use this excuse anymore? It's been like 5 1/2 weeks since I got back. It usually takes a tough week to adjust to a major time change, but this long, really?? My mom thinks that it could take longer since I was away for so long. I appreciate her support, but highly doubt that's what's going. (But will not discount any possible options.)

3. NOT MOVING ENOUGH. I joined up at the gym on Saturday, and have been doing my own sorts of insanity around the house with free weights, but it's true, I'm sitting and stagnant during most of my days now. Before, I was always jumping around with kids, speed walking between jobs or to this place and that. I wasn't exactly sleeping great then either, but better than I am now!

4. GMOs? The United States is the #1 producer of Genetically Modified Organisms. The eight companies that use Monsanto products more than anyone else, also stock most of the products in the supermarkets over here. So, check everything [ALLISON, CHECK EVERYTHING]. I really do attribute a huge portion to this change in my mental clarity and energy levels to what I'm eating. Spain hasn't outlawed GMOs, but when you're buying all your produce from the local market, and not consuming much meat, things tend to feel better all up inside of you.

5. Staying up too late, in spite of knowing the Spirit will wake me before 7:30. I really have got to try harder to be in my room and in my bed by 22:30. I told my family to chastise me if I'm not in my room by 22h, and my sister was doing a really good job, but she's leaving, so now I've really gotta crack down on myself. Something I've never been that great at. Hopefully by establishing a more regular routine, I can get my mind into this "bedtime" mode thing it has always refused to embrace and/or honor.

6. Insert whatever other excuse here. And tell me how to fix it so I can put an end to all this madness.

Someone, please help me. I can't go on like this anymore. When I don't sleep, I get so irritated and irritable, I can't even stand myself. And considering all my days and time are consistent of family time, I really need to be able to stand anything and everything that comes my way. (Love you guys!)

Hope you're all sleeping better than me, and having a great day. Sending loads of sweetness into your week, which, surprisingly I'm still capable of in spite of how grouchy and sleep-deprived I feel right now. Fancy that!

Big Blessings, Love, Light & Wonder (from Above, because that's the best kush a kid can score) to you all. I love and adore sharing the Earth with your magnificent existence!

-Allie-Sun <3