A Semi-Terrible Something

Tonight we got a call we’d all been expecting for a while now… my grandma fell and hit her head, and was going to be taken to the emergency room to be checked out.

This exact incident is what sent our lives and rhythms spiraling in a new direction, and left her living in a nursing home, where, prevented by dementia and stubbornness, she has tried to stand (and consequently fell) nearly every day for the last ___ weeks. And while we have all kind of been waiting for this call to come through, hearing my dad ask which hospital she was going to be taken to wasn’t any easier than you’d expect. But as tends to happen, I begin to digress, for while this post is sending out a call for prayer and positive support, it is not being written to gather sympathy, explain more of what’s going on in my personal life, or anything else of that matter. In fact, it’s to talk about something along the social lines that my mind has just now opened to...

As my parents and I were at the visitor’s check-in desk a police officer came up, and the man behind the desk asked if he was looking for someone. The response,

“We’ve got a missing person.”

I hear these words, and have heard them, more times than I can even count because of all the murder mystery shows I enjoy, and have seen the news blasts, flyers, announcements and highway signs talking about missing people more often than any human should, but never have I heard this sentence uttered by a cop in a setting like this. My reaction? Ears perked up, eyes opened wide, interest 100% peaked. I thought, “Oh wow, it’s just like on TV! I can finally witness it live! I wonder what will happen next!”

Now, I’m a little ashamed to say this was my reaction, versus the much more emotional, “How sad/how terrible/oh my gosh, I hope they’re ok and found quickly/the poor family,” but it’s interesting me very much that I have been given the chance to live and observe these emotion/thought processes.

You always hear that one of the arguments against video games is that they cause people to be more violent in the real world. They predispose children to violence, murder, weaponry, and etc., and are just desensitizing us to all of these brutal things. Before, I kind of had my doubts, and didn’t really stand behind that argument, but now after experiencing this, I’m not so sure.

It’s surprising to me that, even though my dearly beloved grandmother was on the other side of the door in an unknown condition, my first reaction was to hang back by the desk so I could try and get the details of the disappearance. It’s disturbing to me that where I would expect to feel sympathy and concern, I feel intrigue and a desire to pursue the case. Am I a detective? Did I study law? No. I pride myself on being a highly curious human being, and there’s no denying I’m one that’s watched enough episodes of Law & Order and the like to have some idea of how to track down a killer (or so I think, in the same way I feel I’ve watched enough survival/wilderness shows to make it in the wild), but I am not in fact a part of their world. (*Cue Little Mermaid now.*)

Perhaps my reaction is due in large part to the fact I was watching a Castle marathon at home when the call came through that brought me to the emergency room. Perhaps my inclination for puzzles causes me to view this more as a problem to be solved than a [the] sad situation [it is]. Whatever the case may be, I cannot help but feel that all the TV shows I’ve watched about murders and missing people have lead me to be less emotionally concerned/reactionary to things like this, but instead left me thinking, “Wow! It’s like I can watch it happening live!” I mean, I'm a hippie! I'm all about that peace and love and caring for one another and stuff! Yet instead of being like, "Omg my brother/sister," I'm like, "This is kiiind of exciting and I really want to know what's up." It's perturbing me.

And so I open the floor to all of you, and ask that perhaps we begin a dialogue about this subject. The comment section is always open, and I’d love to hear what your thoughts are about this.

Also, I’d like to apologize to the friends, family and associates of the missing person/people. I realize this is a traumatic and tragic incidence, and am keeping you in my prayers. May your missing person be found quickly, and be safely returned to your lives.