Today I saw dead bodies for the first time in my entire life, and I'll never ever forget it.
There was a terrible accident on a frontage road, and as we passed on the freeway, traffic coming to a near stop so everyone could rubber neck, we saw a body wrapped in plastic white tarp, calves and covered feet exposed, and another wrapped in its entirety. We only saw them for a moment, but seeing and comprehending what had happened induced in me feelings I have never known before. I've been to funerals, I've been to a viewing, and my aunt's urn is in our office. I'm no stranger to death, though I still don't handle it well, and am constantly faced with the reality that my beloved grandma will someday pass, but I've never actually seen bodies in that way. Something about actually seeing their bodies lying there struck me in ways I could have never anticipated. A hollow, somber feeling swept over me, and filled me to my depths. Suddenly, my mind went blank, thoughts ceased to exist, and I felt nothing, nothing at all inside. Just space, empty, deep, sad space.
I watch a lot of murder-mystery shows, and have often wondered what it would be like to be the one to unexpectedly discover a body. It never seems that traumatic on the TV, and sometimes it even seems like it could be exciting. But now, after tonight, I hope I never find out.
My heart goes out to the families of those two young men, as well as those affected in the car they crashed into. These young men made a foolish decision (drag racing in the rain on a busy, crowded frontage road, in front of an even busier mall), but no matter what they've done in their lives, death cannot be considered a just outcome. I just hope they knew Christ. My prayers go out to all those involved and affected. There are not enough words to work here, nor could they ever be enough, but know my family and I are keeping you in our prayers as you go through this.
Please, everyone, hug your loved ones extra tight tonight, and make sure the people you care for know you do. Never feel awkward expressing your true, heartfelt sentiments to another person, because how would you feel if tomorrow you couldn't? Of course it's easier said than done (especially for some of us, when being done face-to-face). However, the worth in this practice of encouraging others, building them up, telling them how we feel, and making sure they know how much they mean to us is so, so important. We cannot properly place a value on it, and only understand its weight when it's no longer an option. So take some time to reach out to those who've made a difference in your life, and let them know the ways they've changed you. If you need to apologize to someone, do it, and don't wait. And if you need to release some people, release them, knowing it will be better for all in the end.
We do not know the number of days we've been given, and there isn't a reason on Earth to spend any one of them in misery, no matter what the circumstance might be. It all comes down to consciously guiding and watching our thoughts and words. It is an incredibly difficult practice, many times seeming impossible, but I urge us all to do what we can to choose to embrace and learn from all, and to choose happiness, and at the very least, gratitude. Remember there's a blessing in everything, and God will work it all together for good. We may see a mountain, but He will see a mole hill. We might not think there is any benefit, when He has in mind nothing but blessing. God, Others, Gratitude. A life-changing organization.
If you're reading this, I want you to know you are impacting my life. If you're reading this, I want you to know I genuinely have a love for you neither of us might ever understand. If you're reading this, I want to say thank you, because you are changing my world, and there is no better way to flatter, humble or love a person than to support them. If you're reading this, I hope you will stop for a moment, look up, give thanks, and take a deep breath, knowing life is unexpected and it's a wild ride, but it's never totally out of control. Even when it might seem like it, God's got it. :)
I hope you have as beautiful week as possible as we head into Christmas, and you get the chance to tell those you love that you do.
Happy Holidays Earth Fam,
Stay shining!
-Allie-Sun <3