2016 Intentions

As we enter this new year of life, it's a chance to reflect on the time that's passed, set some intentions for the future, and decide to make some changes in who we are and what we do. The New Year is a beautiful, powerful, potent time, as we celebrate it internationally as the global family and community we really are. So many people focusing so much energy on one thing has a deep impact we will never fully understand, and it provides us an amazing opportunity to tap into it all!

The way I see it, there are so many people centering themselves around this one thing -- the new year, the transition from the old to the new, the change, the shift, the altering of a l l -- that if we can just add our energy and intentions into the mix, we not only draw on our own energy and that of God with us to make it all happen, but that of every single other person participating in this release and transition! Just imagine it! Essentially, we're piggy-backing on the energy of others. But not without making our own contribution of course.

So because I believe this, and am a total loon for reflecting on and moving forward from the old to create an improved path, I set intentions each New Year. I try to set an equal number of intentions to the final digit of the year, but this year, I'm just setting them. No restrictions applied. I'm not sure what my five for 2015 were, nor how I honored/did with them, but at some point, I'll dig in the deep recesses of this blog (or not so deep, since I don't post so much), and do a little review as to how I held up against them. One thing is for sure... I am so stinking glad we have kissed 2015 goodbye!

This past year was a rough one for so many people I know, absolutely including myself. A lot of us [in the spiritual/new age world (whatever that even means anymore)] knew that 2015 was meant to be a year for major changes in everyone's lives, but as perpetual optimists, we did not foresee them being "negative" changes. (I use " " because really, who is to say what is negative and what is positive?) I think we all talked about how transformative and major the year was going to be, how full of change it was going to be, whilst thinking it was going to somehow take us from where we were and who we were, directly into this new place and position with ourselves and in our lives, that would shed light on who we'd be for our future and what we'd be doing with our lives "forever." Well, bummer bummer, that was not the case.

In 2015, I think I was suffering from more perpetual hurt and stress than any other year in my entire life. Maybe even more than all the previous years combined. (That might be a little dramatic. All the hurt I've felt/been feeling has really caused a major exaggeration in my dramatic tendencies.) From misery (again, maybe a liiiiittle dramatic) in my work life, to misery (hurt) in my relationship(s), to misery (struggle) at home, to misery (conflict) with my family, to misery (doubt) with myself, to misery (lost-ness) with myself, to misery (insecurity) with myself, to more misery (pain, hurting, sadness), and it was not easy! Not at all! (Obviously.)

Of course, there were so many amazing moments, so many wonderful adventures, some really brilliant new connections made, stellar countries seen, and an outpouring of love, blessings, wonder and great things. When I stop and think about all the great things that happened, I am overwhelmed with gratitude and warmth, because it's been such a special year, too. And perhaps it's because I've been hurting especially deeply the last couple months, that it's hard for me to view 2015 as all the great things it was, but when I give it a really honest look and remember all the nitty gritty stuff, too, I know it was an incredibly painFULL year.

So to ring in this New Year, this fresh, clean, unwritten year, I did two very different-yet-complimentary things:

1. I cried my freaking face off.

I watched a couple of films with my family, then about 45 minutes to midnight they all went to bed, so I came into my room, and I just broke the heck down. Hard. I seriously haven't cried that hard in a long, long time, in spite of the fact I've spent a lot of time crying the last couple months. It was a culmination of it all, and I just let it happen.

I let the tears pour down my face, sending mascara running into my eyes, and I let my thoughts go to each source of hurt in my life. I forced myself to face it, and something in me really wanted to. It was almost sinister in a way, how badly I wanted to look it all in the eye. Forcefully I envisioned each cause of pain. I saw the face of the person, the image of the situation, the whatever of the whatever, and let all the associated feelings wash over me and course through my blood, reaching my hurting heart. I then gave it my most ferocious grit face, kind of growled at it, and broke down even harder. Then I called the next one to the stage of my mind.

The crying went on for about ten minutes. I didn't stop it till I felt something shift in me, something release, and knew I was really moving on from it. Then I did the second thing...

{{ clearly this one went on social media, hence the filter }}

2. I put on red lipstick, and meditated.

I went to the bathroom and washed off my face, then I put some theatrical thing of feathers and flowers in my hair, put on some sexy red lipstick, smiled deeply and meaningfully at myself, and came into my room to mediate.

I started out with a prayer. I told God I was tired of carrying it all around and letting it control me, and that I was done with it. I asked Him to take it all away, and to give me new strength. I thanked Him for the strong woman I am, and told Him to fill in when my strength is running low. I offered up myself and my life to Him and His purpose, again, and told Him I was releasing the reigns into His hands, again. Then I started picturing people I know, and told them I loved them. I pictured the world, humanity as a whole, and all living things, and told them I loved them, before I finally came to the hardest to really love of all: myself. I repeated over-and-over again, "Allison, I love you," till it was time to begin my meditation of thanks. Because there was literally no other way I wanted to enter this year other than by giving thanks. So I gave thanks for all things around me, and decided I wanted to start with the nearest, closest, "smallest" thing of all, which brought my attention to the house I was sitting in, to the room I was in, to the items in it, and then it just kept zeroing in on the one thing it knew needed the focus. It was like those moments in films where the character is hit with the crazy realization, their eyes get big and wide, and all of a sudden, things stop, the background blurs, and one thing remains clear. All my attention came to myself, my body, my form, everything inside me. And so I started with my fingernails, and gave thanks for each bone, muscle, tendon, and part, all the way down to my toes.

At midnight, as I was somewhere around my stomach and giving thanks for my liver, I heard fireworks going off and people in the neighborhood cheering. I smiled, and knew I was starting off this New Year just the right way. I was exactly where I needed to be.

Activated.

Refreshed.

Ready.

That is how I feel.

And now, as I've done each year for the last I-don't-know-how-many, I will set some intentions :)

My Intentions for 2016 Are...

• Be more dedicated, directed and dependable

• Remember my value and worth in God // Stop determining it based on the value others give me.

• Decide each morning before I get up who it is I want to be (positive, loving, and a representation of God's Love and Light).

• Visit at least five new countries (seems ambitious since I will likely be in the US most of the year, but that's kinda the point).

• Work on being more understanding, and less critical, especially of myself and my immediate family members.

And there we go, without even meaning to, I've hit six! The list might grow, but for now, that's a pretty solid and deep set of intentions for this New Year. I'm pleased :)

What about you!? What did you do to ring in the New Year!? What are your intentions for this year, or resolutions if you sway that way? I'd love to hear about it // get connected to some of you! Comment here or on Facebook please :)

I hope that you are feeling refreshed and ready to take on this New Year! And if you're hung over as hades, embrace that, and know it doesn't mean it determines how your whole year will go. Or maybe it will, but that's ok, too. :) I also hope you've taken some time to reflect on the good and bad from that past, and have accepted the challenge and blessing of incorporating all the lessons and growth we've gained into this brand new year of life! I think a lot of us are covered in black ash from the near burning down of our sanity and lives in 2015, but you know what, we're about to break through all that like a phoenix! Yeah baby!!

I'm sending you SO MUCH support and love, and literally, I pray for you all the time. I pray for all people all the time, so that. means. YOU! You are special, you are loved, you are L O V E!

Happy 2016 babies, shine on!

Blessings, Love, Light & Wonder to all,

-Allie-Sun <3